What have you done, Tom? Your lips say that you love, your eyes say that you hate. I hate everything I became. Damned and dirty. I'm hopeless.
I let myself try one last time the goblet of perdition. Nothing can be hide from God's eyes. I fell again. Even though I know that there's no hope for me without Him, I sinned.
Letters on my desk. I cannot open them, at least not tonight; with no enough strength, it's useless. What's left for me is to drown myself asleep into dreams or nightmares; It doesn't matter, as long as they're deep and for a while, erase my memories.
I let myself try one last time the goblet of perdition. Nothing can be hide from God's eyes. I fell again. Even though I know that there's no hope for me without Him, I sinned.
Letters on my desk. I cannot open them, at least not tonight; with no enough strength, it's useless. What's left for me is to drown myself asleep into dreams or nightmares; It doesn't matter, as long as they're deep and for a while, erase my memories.
I can't stand by myself, nor I have the strength to fight. I tried once, my efforts were in vain. All I built fell down like a castle of sand taken by the waves.
Tomorrow I wake to work. An open door was asked, so it was given. I don't even know if I'm able to stay, or if, among all the others, I'll be the chosen one. I'm doing what I can. It doesn't seem to be enough. And if it doesn't do, well that's also my Lord's will. No matter what I'm on His hands.
My heart is too easily corrupted to stay faithful. I hate myself for disobeying. It's like I'm proving myself as a man. Handling the hard work, trying to undo the trouble I made. Not with my own strengths.